COMEDIAN Tommy Little has lived in Port Melbourne for three years. He highlights his favourite haunts.
BEST BIG BREAKFAST: Simple Affair. It’s just off Bay Street in Port Melbourne, and has heaps of really healthy food and great staff. It’s the perfect place to wash away your sins from the night before.
GO TO RELAX: Port Melbourne Beach. There’s something about the combination of the sun, the water and the leathery oiled up old men wearing Speedos that really calms me.
FOR A ROMANTIC DATE: I really like The Toff in Town but my love life is in shambles, so maybe I’m not the person to be asking.
LAST-MINUTE GIFT: Still Ikea – and the gift usually ends up being a large amount of hot dogs.
A TOP COFFEE FIX: 7-Eleven. I wrote that answer just to hear the collective sigh of every hipster in Melbourne. On a serious note, St Ali is awesome.
FIND A GREAT READ: My local bookstore – the Avenue.
FAVOURITE TAKEAWAY: At 3am, it’s Maccas. At any time other than 3am it’s anything but Maccas. Eating fast food while sober should be outlawed.
ALL BY MYSELF: I go to the bathroom. I’ve tried taking friends but they get weirded out.
SPEND MY LAST TEN DOLLARS: The Ikea Cafe. Hot dogs are only $1 and if you eat 10 you could die, so it really will be your last 10 dollars.
BEST KEPT SECRET: Miss Chu, the soup nazi of rice paper rolls. She’s massive in Sydney and only just taking off here.
WHERE I GO
Simple Affair: 224B Bay Street, Port Melbourne, call 9681 7888
The Toff in Town: 2/252 Swanston Street, city, call 9639 8770
St Ali: 12-18 Yarra Place South Melbourne, call 9686 2990
Avenue Bookstore: 127 Dundas Place, Albert Park, call 9690 2227
Ikea: Victoria Gardens Shopping Centre, 630 Victoria Street, Richmond, call 8416 5000
Miss Chu: 2/297 Exhibition Street, city, call 9077 1097